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Talk:SorryNotSorry/@comment-4441793-20160630222337
Me, Sarah and Dani interviewing Miles Hollingsworth (Hustlesworth) and Ian Gallagher (40 Red) for their upcoming battle. SARAH: So tell me, which one of you is going to win? IAN and MILES: (in unison) I AM! DANI: You boys are certainly sure of yourselves! MILES: Dani, let me keep it a stack, Ian is going to DIE. IAN: Rob, Dani, Sarah....don't even listen to him. What opponent has he straight up KILLED in the past? Nobody! He lost to Eli. Him and Cam was debatable. Him and Jonah was debatable. MILES: I beat Zig last year. IAN: BARELY! And that nigga just came off of two battles back to back, and you barely beat him. According to the general audience, you and Zig's battle was DEBATABLE! MILES: That's because everybody's riding Zig's overrated dick. He did GOOD in our battle and I'll even admit he won the third round but I fucked him UP in the first two. Hands down! IAN: Yeah, blame the fangirls. Convenient excuse, spoken like a true loser. MILES: Forget about Zig, let's talk about me and you. Bar for bar, I am going to KILL you. IAN: The only thing you can kill is that DELUSION. That way when I bar your rich ass to CHUMP CHANGE, you can keep half your ego because you wouldn't be so shocked at the outcome. MILES: Ugly lies if I've ever heard them. IAN: The fuck you calling ugly? MILES: Open your EARS! I said ugly lies. IAN: Good, because you don't wanna go there with me, my nigga. MILES: Say what? IAN: You heard me. MILES: Nigga....look at your goddamn childhood pictures! You look like fucking ANNIE, the Orphan. IAN: But how do I look now? Better than you! MILES: You wish. IAN: YOU wish! Look at your ass! My FACE is cuter than yours. BODY is better than yours. I'm Southside Chicago BROKE with no consistent dental insurance growing up, you're a billionaire and yet my TEETH are better than yours. You got so many gaps on the side of your teeth, they look like fucking black piano keys. MILES: Don't worry about my teeth, nigga... IAN: Fucking turkey neck, ostrich legs, shaved peacock, hybrid looking motherfucker but you're all CHICKEN. MILES: And you look like Napoleon Dynamite on his BEST day, which still ain't shit. DANI: Aaw, but you're both so handsome! SARAH: I know, right? Knock it off. ROB: Can we just stick to the bars? IAN: Yeah but first let me say this....look at his outfit. Who the FUCK does that, for real??? MILES: ME, my nigga! I got my own taste. IAN: You're wearing somebody's grandpa's vacation-in-the-Bahamas, retirement shirt with some fucking SKIN-TIGHT ass jeans that don't even MATCH the shit. So tight that if you had a vagina, that's a prime yeast infection recipe. Miles dropped his phone by accident and bent down to pick it up, which fuel Ian's insults even more. IAN: Fuck outta here. You're ugly as hell. Your butt is flat as fuck. This nigga got on these tight ass pants but instead of making them look decent with some fitted underwear underneath, he got on these fucking BAGGY ASS, CURTAIN LOOKING boxers on, all stuffed up in his buttcheeks, wedgies and shit. It looks GROSS. MILES: Ian's just mad because I didn't show up to his hotel room after he invited me. IAN: I wasn't trying to fuck though. MILES:Please. You're a GALLAGHER. IAN: So fucking what? Me, my brothers and my sisters look good as shit. Don't hate. What kind of action is your FAMILY getting? They can PAY for the shit and nobody still wants to fuck them. You're the only one that gets around. MILES:That's right and YOU wanted to GO a round with me. Admit it. IAN: Please, only round, or rather THREE rounds, I'm going with you are the BARS that I'm going to THRASH that ass with. MILES: Not gonna happen. IAN: You know what, Miles? Half the time, you don't even know WHY you be fucking.....it's just something to do. MILES: Something I do WELL, and you can't get it. IAN: WHAT? Have you seen my MEN! (Pulls out picture). Look at these fine motherfuckers. MILES: Yeah, them two.....but "conveniently....you left out raggedy Kash and 85 year old Ned, right? You're probably still spitting out dead saggy old man skin remnants from blowing all those geriatric ass niggas. IAN: Nigga, look at YOUR man. At least Mickey and Caleb were recent. What the fuck Tristan got on either of them? *Dead silence* IAN: Yeah, thought so. Shut up. MILES:(chucking) Yeah, let me allow you THIN you just slayed me when in truth, I'm just too fucking high to give a shit remember any of this argument. But when I bring those bars, we'll see who's gonna be laughing then.